I bitch therefore I am.

Oops she's done it again!

2007-10-04T06:10:00.001-07:00

Can things get any worse for Britney Spears? Just after she looses custody of her two children (and subsequently goes to a tanning salon straight after?!) a ‘mystery man’ has revealed he has a tape of himself and Britney having sex. According to celebrity PR experts, this tape could be worth millions as Britney is so high profile at the moment.
The mystery man in question though stated that the video wasn’t anything amazing, it’s just Britney and himself having normal, run of the mill sex. To be fair to Britney though, with the amount of drink and drugs she’s allegedly taking – he should be grateful she managed to stay focussed long enough to do the deed….

Breaking news....

2007-10-02T03:20:00.001-07:00

Britney Spears has lost custody of her two children. The US courts ruled that ex-husband Kevin Federline should have sole custody ‘until further notice’ – although Federline has been ordered to under-go parenting classes.

Meanwhile, there have been reports that the FBI are investigating claims of a contract hit on Federline’s life. The Los Angeles police department has confirmed that a investigation was carried out nearly two months ago, but was closed due to insufficient evidence.

2007-10-01T05:24:00.001-07:00

A match made in porn video heaven

2007-10-01T05:16:00.000-07:00

Well I didn't see this one coming, Baywatch and home video porn star Pamela Anderson have applied for a marriage license to Rick Soloman - the co-star of 'One night in Paris' featuring Paris Hilton.
Earlier this month, Pammy revealed to US talk show host Ellen DeGeneres that she was engaged but wouldn't reveal his name. She did however reveal that he 'was a poker player.' I think we've quite enough of his poker playing don't you Pammy!?

Robbie Williams wants to kill the paparazzi

2007-10-01T01:52:00.000-07:00

Not content with being a whiny, self obsessed starlet - Robbie Williams has now been quoted as saying he wants to 'kill the paparazzi' Yes he wants to kill the very people who helped make him 'RICH, RICH BEYOND HIS WILDEST DREAMS!!!'
Williams seems to be the only person on the 'I support Britney' bandwagon. He stated that he felt sorry for old Britters as each morning when he drove past her house, he would see hoards of paparazzi waiting outside for her - and he wanted to kill them all.
What dear Robbie fails to realise is that Britney Spears courts publicity. She could if she wanted to, disappear quietly into the back round rather than airing her dirty laundry (not that she seems to wear any) in public.

It must be hell though for the likes of Britney and Robbie to be able to cope with the trappings of fame and celebrity status. Poor them. And I bet the squillions they have sitting in the bank don’t do much to help either….

Are the Beckhams still in a relationship?

2007-09-30T15:09:00.000-07:00

Victoria Beckham - I love her. She's managed to cling onto her career by not actually doing much apart from wearing some amazing clothes. And you have to respect someone who makes millions from doing bugger all. In life, thats something to aspire to kids.
Word on the grapevine is that the Beckhams are no longer together. I dont know whether this is true but the evidence speaks rather loudly. The Beckhams don't attend celebrity functions together anymore. Bar the odd pap shots of the Beckhams leaving a restaurant after an 'intimate romantic meal' you just don't see them out together anymore.
Victoria was spotted house hunting alone in LA. Now personally, if Im going to up sticks and relocate to another part of the world - I would probably want to see the place I would be calling home. Whilst Victoria struggles to crack the American market, David is no-where to be seen. Infact he's probably busy shagging the next girl who throws herself onto his path.

Brand Beckham was created by Victoria. She made the Beckhams into the celebrity freak show that they are today. My suspicions are that they will announce a split in a few months or maybe a years time. I reckon Victoria wants to push herself as being the face of Brand Beckham, rather than the two of them. The public have to get used to the idea of the golden couple being apart - and I think they are doing a good job of it.
My theory is they split after the whole Rebecca Loos scandel - but Victoria wanted to crack the American market first. So come on girl, show us what you're made of, and make that cheating husband of yours realise that cheating with someone who wanks a pig on national TV is just not worth it.

The trash-ville wedding of Jodie Marsh

2007-09-30T14:44:00.000-07:00

Jodie Marsh - the 'glamour' girl we all love to hate has recently got married to the ex boyfriend of Jordon. We all know that the show 'Jodie Marsh - who will take her up the aisle' was a complete fix, I mean come on, does she really expect us to believe she will marry a random member of the public?
Her wedding to serial dater Matt Peacock was the trashy affair I hoped it would be. The bride looked absolutely vile in her red wedding dress which was slightly reminiscant of a toilet roll cover found in the homes of the 60+. Her matted hair and drag-queen like make up was enough to make any normal man bolt straight out of the church and straight into the nearest taxi. She hasnt married a normal man though, shes married fame-hungry Matt Peacock. And if your husbands ex-partner includes an over inflated glamour girl, you know you're onto a losing streak.
I give the marriage six months, after all you've got to allow time for the countless appearences to the opening of any envelope and of course the inevitable OK! shoot to get the money safely in the kitty first.

Vile, vile, vile is how I would describe Jodie Marsh. I had to laugh though, I've seen here in a few of the UK celeb mags ben given a make over. Well I say make over and I mean make under. The current trend is to shoot Jodie Marsh with minimal make up in order to give her a natural look. But theres nothing natural about an over-tanned, ratty haired freak who marries a man for publicity. Fuck off Jodie Marsh and crawl back into whatever Essex nightclub you appeared out of.